The single most important tip for sleep training your baby or child is the concept of independent sleep. Most babies struggle to fall asleep on their own. Independent sleep is something babies and children need to learn (and often relearn), and parents can help with this. Independent sleep means the baby falls asleep without the help of parents in terms of rocking, holding, feeding, cuddling, being in the same room, etc. You want your baby to have a full belly at bedtime but you want to separate it from actual bedtime (falling asleep on the bottle or nipples) so that they do not develop a sleep association with feeding and bedtime.
What about pacifiers? It is also probably best not to use pacifiers; it can be okay for some but not for others. For my son, he loved the pacifier, but he would cry if it fell out. We went cold turkey on the pacifier at night so that we did not have to repeatedly go back into his room and give it back to him. Sleep training went much better after we removed the pacifier at night.
How does this relate to sleep training methods? Pretty much all of the sleep training methods I have come across are just different methods for developing the habit of independent sleep in babies and children. Some methods involve crying (cry it out, graduated extinction) and others are more gentle (faded bedtime). We used the graduated extinction method where we put our baby down to bed at bedtime and set a timer for 20 minutes (or however long you feel comfortable with). If our baby was still crying after 20 minutes, we would go back to check on them and make sure nothing was wrong. Eventually (the number of nights can vary), our baby would go down without a fuss (or not much of one). I remember visiting family members and them being impressed by how easily my newborn went down at night. This was because of sleep training!
Does this apply only to bedtime? Independent sleep is most important for bedtime. Once that is established, middle of the night feedings can be removed more easily as the child is much better at going back to sleep on their own. It also makes naps so much better if they go down easily and without a fuss! We would also use independent sleep for naps, but we were less strict about it. We still sometimes used sleep tools (swings, pacifiers, car rides, stroller) for naps. Naps are harder due to a weaker sleep drive during the daytime.
When to start introducing independent sleep? We started introducing it early; essentially at birth. One of my favorite studies on sleep training, recommended starting independent sleep at birth and saw some positive sleep effects as early as 3 weeks (linked below). However, those first few weeks are very difficult for baby sleep; their circadian rhythm is not established and newborns still have the witching hour which peaks around six weeks old. So, those first couple weeks after birth, it can be challenging and you may want to wait a bit to make things easier. I would focus more on a consistent feeding schedule those first couple of weeks after a baby is born.
Does it work forever?: Overtime, your kids will likely regress and go back to crying/meltdowns at bedtime. My three-year old has been doing that lately. We go back to graduated extinction until the phase subsides, usually in a couple of weeks.
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[…] Understanding how your baby prefers to fall asleep is helpful, especially for naps. Naps are more difficult for children (and everyone) because of a less strong sleep drive during the day. You can use this to your advantage for those hard to get but needed naps, especially when you are not at home or not in your normal routine! Independent sleep (without any of the above options) is really important for nighttime but less important for naps. Look here for more on independent sleep: The Single Most Important Sleep Training Tip. […]
[…] feeding works well when in tandem with other sleep training tools like independent sleep (The Single Most Important Sleep Training Tip) and stretching the length of time in-between feedings (3 Easy Ways to Wean your Baby from Night […]